I often remind parents that the road to a good night's sleep can be a bumpy one. Parents beginning the sleep coaching process experience moments of increasing success followed by restless nights. It can be hard to keep focus on the end of the road and know that you will get there.
No one is better at reminding me of this than my own children. Recently, since the advent of Daylight Savings Time, my 5 year old daughter has had difficulty settling down to sleep, despite all of my efforts to pretend that the clock hasn't changed at all. I have been called back repeatedly for glasses of water, just "one last thing" that she needs to tell me, a final tuck-in, you name it.
Reaching back to all of my sleep coaching tricks, I thought returning to our tried and true sticker chart might help her. We went to the store and she picked out some sparkly Barbie (yikes) fairy stickers and I was sure that those would inspire her to stop making so much noise at bedtime.
Well, she got to sleep quickly and quietly that night, but.... just to keep me on my toes, she got out of bed at 4:00 A.M. and went to the bathroom. She then came into my room and informed me that she wanted to get up for the day. "When will it be breakfast time?" and "What are we having?" she asked.
I escorted her back to her room & tried to get myself back to sleep, only to be awakened again about 45 minutes later. "I can't sleep!" she says. She complains of some sort of dangerous creature in her closet and I shut the door. Somewhere in there, I may have muttered some comments about throwing her stickers away if she didn't get back to sleep. Mercifully (was it my empty threat that did the trick?) she did and so did I.
We haven't had another night like that since, but I am hearing that she is feeling lonely in her room and scared sometimes. Which is a good reminder that just when we parents think we have something figured out, our children move into a new stage and we have to learn how to navigate that one. So I will spend a little more time making sure her room feels safe & cozy to her at nighttime, and giving her some strategies she can use when the scary thoughts sneak in. Take the fears out and put happy thoughts in. Tell the worries to the worry dolls. Close that closet door.
No one is better at reminding me of this than my own children. Recently, since the advent of Daylight Savings Time, my 5 year old daughter has had difficulty settling down to sleep, despite all of my efforts to pretend that the clock hasn't changed at all. I have been called back repeatedly for glasses of water, just "one last thing" that she needs to tell me, a final tuck-in, you name it.
Reaching back to all of my sleep coaching tricks, I thought returning to our tried and true sticker chart might help her. We went to the store and she picked out some sparkly Barbie (yikes) fairy stickers and I was sure that those would inspire her to stop making so much noise at bedtime.
Well, she got to sleep quickly and quietly that night, but.... just to keep me on my toes, she got out of bed at 4:00 A.M. and went to the bathroom. She then came into my room and informed me that she wanted to get up for the day. "When will it be breakfast time?" and "What are we having?" she asked.
I escorted her back to her room & tried to get myself back to sleep, only to be awakened again about 45 minutes later. "I can't sleep!" she says. She complains of some sort of dangerous creature in her closet and I shut the door. Somewhere in there, I may have muttered some comments about throwing her stickers away if she didn't get back to sleep. Mercifully (was it my empty threat that did the trick?) she did and so did I.
We haven't had another night like that since, but I am hearing that she is feeling lonely in her room and scared sometimes. Which is a good reminder that just when we parents think we have something figured out, our children move into a new stage and we have to learn how to navigate that one. So I will spend a little more time making sure her room feels safe & cozy to her at nighttime, and giving her some strategies she can use when the scary thoughts sneak in. Take the fears out and put happy thoughts in. Tell the worries to the worry dolls. Close that closet door.
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