No, I'm not talking about Disneyland. I am really thinking about one of my favorites places (which on a good day CAN feel like the happiest place on earth): the cooperative preschool my children attended. My kids have now moved on to elementary school but this year I've had the good fortune to visit there multiple times as a guest paid parent, substituting for parents who can't make their regularly scheduled shift.
On a recent Tuesday morning I arrived at the co-op tired and grumpy after a challenging night. But quite quickly my mood was lifted. I wondered: what exactly is the magic? Sure, I loved connecting with the children and the adults that were working that day. But, I thought, there must be a little more to it than just that.
On a recent Tuesday morning I arrived at the co-op tired and grumpy after a challenging night. But quite quickly my mood was lifted. I wondered: what exactly is the magic? Sure, I loved connecting with the children and the adults that were working that day. But, I thought, there must be a little more to it than just that.
I had my epiphany the next day, when I unexpectedly found myself working at the co-op again. I had attended a parent education event the night before, in which I heard Dr. Christine Carter, author of Raising Happiness, discuss what parents can do to teach their children the skill of happiness. Throughout the morning I observed so many happiness habits in action.
First and foremost: Gratitude! The teacher started the day at our morning meeting by talking about being awakened by her husband that morning with a birthday gift and saying with a smile "That's why I love him!" During the day I observed how often she expressed thanks and appreciation to adults and children alike for their efforts to be helpful and kind. When I received her s
Second: Never too busy to pay attention! Dr. Carter talked about how often in our culture we are too busy with too many scheduled events, too much media, too much multi-tasking. At the co-op, there are no computers. No one is checking their email while they are supervising the children. Phone conversations are at a minimum. Even when adults ARE chatting with each other, for the most part their eyes are on the children. The children themselves are busy with the work of play, experiencing everything with their whole bodies and spirits. Of course (these are three and four year olds we're talking about!) there are plenty of moments of conflict, tears, and distress, but adults respond with a focus on the present moment and full attention.
Third: Focus on the process, not the product. Dr. Carter highlighted in her talk that our praise often focuses on a fixed mindset (the end result) rather than reflecting the process. And, at the co-op, here it was at the end of the day, when one of the parents talked about a project she had done with the children that morning. The children loved it and were very engaged, but the end result was hard to interpret. And once again, the teacher commented that it is the process that is important. That is what they learn from and will remember.
Fourth: We must focus on our own happiness in order to help our children learn how to be happy. And, once again at the co-op, there it was. When I walked into the co-op in the morning, I felt happy to be part of the community. Spending time with adults and children is something that brings me happiness. Those relationships feed my spirit.
So, what does all of this have to do with sleep?? Well, quality sleep also improves our mood. But, more than that, when it comes to bedtime routines, I notice that it helps my children to take some time to think about their day and notice what they are grateful for. I also notice that when I feel too busy and try to rush through their bedtime routine, stress and anxiety follows. When I put aside my to-do list and focus on on the process of spending time with them it goes much more smoothly and they are better prepared for sleep. Finally, when I have spent some time that day doing what makes me truly happy, I am more relaxed and ready to engage with my children.
First and foremost: Gratitude! The teacher started the day at our morning meeting by talking about being awakened by her husband that morning with a birthday gift and saying with a smile "That's why I love him!" During the day I observed how often she expressed thanks and appreciation to adults and children alike for their efforts to be helpful and kind. When I received her s
Second: Never too busy to pay attention! Dr. Carter talked about how often in our culture we are too busy with too many scheduled events, too much media, too much multi-tasking. At the co-op, there are no computers. No one is checking their email while they are supervising the children. Phone conversations are at a minimum. Even when adults ARE chatting with each other, for the most part their eyes are on the children. The children themselves are busy with the work of play, experiencing everything with their whole bodies and spirits. Of course (these are three and four year olds we're talking about!) there are plenty of moments of conflict, tears, and distress, but adults respond with a focus on the present moment and full attention.
Third: Focus on the process, not the product. Dr. Carter highlighted in her talk that our praise often focuses on a fixed mindset (the end result) rather than reflecting the process. And, at the co-op, here it was at the end of the day, when one of the parents talked about a project she had done with the children that morning. The children loved it and were very engaged, but the end result was hard to interpret. And once again, the teacher commented that it is the process that is important. That is what they learn from and will remember.
Fourth: We must focus on our own happiness in order to help our children learn how to be happy. And, once again at the co-op, there it was. When I walked into the co-op in the morning, I felt happy to be part of the community. Spending time with adults and children is something that brings me happiness. Those relationships feed my spirit.
So, what does all of this have to do with sleep?? Well, quality sleep also improves our mood. But, more than that, when it comes to bedtime routines, I notice that it helps my children to take some time to think about their day and notice what they are grateful for. I also notice that when I feel too busy and try to rush through their bedtime routine, stress and anxiety follows. When I put aside my to-do list and focus on on the process of spending time with them it goes much more smoothly and they are better prepared for sleep. Finally, when I have spent some time that day doing what makes me truly happy, I am more relaxed and ready to engage with my children.
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